Sunday, 29 January 2012

Being a Mum

Being a mum
The hardest thing about being a nanny kinship carer is being a mum.  Quite regularly I hear "so have you heard from your daughter?" (accompanied by a pitying look at C) or "has C seen her mum lately?" (accompanied by the same look).  Then of course there's "your daughter is so lucky to have you".  We are lucky to have her too.

Our daughter is working away finally finding her own life, despite health issues which no one who hasn't walked in her shoes would understand.  That despite having seen the pain and impact the diagnosis at aged 17 has had on her life, even us as her parents don't fully understand.  We don't know how hard, or how easy, it really is for her to see her daughter being brought up - for the time being in any case - by her own parents.  But what we do know is that she has made the legal transition for us to be kinship carers as easy as possible for all concerned.  For that we are truly grateful, as for me to be pitched against my daughter would be too painful for description.

In days gone by, and even nowadays in other cultures, grandparents bringing up their grandchildren would be seen as extended family helping out, as families do.  That's what families are for.  I am also secretly flattered when people think C is mine - ok, maybe not quite so secretly, you have to get compliments where you can at my age.

My daughter has asked me what do I think C will think of her when she is grown up.  My reply is that C will have a wonderful childhood surrounded by people who love her and she will know that her mum made a decision in her best interests.  At the end of the day that is what being a mum is all about.

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